Saturday, October 1, 2011

Awkward

The moment you realize that you sat down with a bunch of people on Sunday night and you haven't spoken a single word, you know that you are indeed an awkward person. It is as if everyone received a comprehensive How To guide for living life/acting one's age and I was the only fool who didn't get one. I am not kidding when I say that I did not speak a single word that night. I literally did not understand a single thing that was being spoken, like as if they were speaking a totally different language. My biggest struggle at the moment is the fact that I have no idea how to effectively socialize with people. I know that I am doing something wrong, but not what I am doing wrong.

One place to start would be humor. The infamous "KIA Syracuse" and the "Wings are here" are some of the things that people find funny. I find it outright embarrassing and wish that people would not mention it. But when I try to bring up such things for the sake of humor, people gimme the look as if I just slapped their mother in the face. I mean what gives? I thought doing something similar would be funny not outright offensive. What am I missing here?

Another place would be large groups. I am usually fine with one to five people conversations, but when that group grows to around 10 to 15 people, I am utterly lost. The entire group is talking about one thing or the other and I would be totally lost. It's as if everyone's plugged into this Hive Mind that I am not part of. So usually I just end up sitting silently and pretend to understand what's going on.

Music: I honestly have no idea where the hell these people are finding their music from. Its as if this new totally awesome music just spawned one night and everyone's listening to it and know who to follow and where to go to find these awesome music. What sorcery do these people practice that they have instantaneous knowledge of what's good and what isn't??? When people hear that _______ will be coming to Juice Jam, most people are "OMG it's ______!!!!" while I am asking myself "Who in the world is ______?". Or when someone plugs in their iPod in a car ride and a song I never heard of comes out and everyone in the car automatically start going wild.


There are more, but I don't remember all of them, either way I am left asking myself: "Did I miss something that everyone got?". The whole world got the memo except for me. I feel as if I am 5-10 years behind everyone else when it comes to these things, like a 5 year old walking around campus pretending to be a 21 year old. A cosmically confused and confounded fool walking in a sea of people that seems to know everything there is to know.

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